No Monkey Business Menu & Prices — Keswick

Golden crumpets layered with smoky bacon, Cumberland curl sausage, melted American cheese, Virgin Mary sauce & a perfectly poached egg. Tall, indulgent, and worth every bite.

Frozen mixed berries blended with gluten-free oat milk, topped with banana, seasonal berries, coconut, peanut butter & chia seeds. Light, energising, and naturally feel-good.

Sourdough topped with smashed avocado, house-pickled red onions, crispy onions, toasted almonds and siracha. Fresh, balanced, brunch-approved.

Fluffy couscous with roasted butternut squash, red peppers, cherry tomatoes, carrot ribbons, avocado, vegan feta & house-pickled red onions. Finished with a golden turmeric tahini dressing. Plant-powered, nourishing, glow-up vibes.

Slow-cooked pulled pork shoulder glazed in our house-made Korean BBQ sauce, Gochujang mayo & kimchi. Served with a fresh cucumber & sesame salad. Sweet, spicy, slightly messy.

An all-butter croissant filled with rich Turkish-spiced tomato & pepper sauce, baked with a soft egg and finished with salty feta. Flaky, saucy, slightly chaotic - in the best way.

Silky poached eggs on cooling garlicky yoghurt, finished with chilli butter, walnut dukka & warm sourdough for dipping. High-protein, feel-good comfort with a spicy kick.

Golden slices of French toast piled high, drizzled with sweet strawberry purée, topped with fresh strawberries, toasted hazelnuts, a generous swirl of Nutella, and a cloud of whipped cream. Sweet, indulgent, and absolutely Instagram-worthy.

Thick-cut, oak-smoked bacon or a juicy Cumberland sausage coil from Carlisle, stacked into a crusty bap. Served with Keswick ketchup or warm spiced Cumberland sauce. Comfort food. Zero regrets.

Thick-cut smoked bacon, Cumberland sausage, perfectly poached eggs, buttered mushrooms, blistered cherry tomatoes, crispy hash brown bites, baked beans & sourdough toast. Big plate. Big energy.

Golden toasted sourdough topped with a, creamy cheddar & mustard sauce. Served with our house pickled red onions. Cheesy, nostalgic, elite.

Freshly made by our creative cook Scarlett - always changing, always cosy. Check the board to see what's bubbling today.

Crispy flatbread loaded with tender chicken breast, crisp lettuce, Parmesan shavings, and our creamy Caesar dressing. Fresh, indulgent, and perfect for sharing (or not).

Parmesan and truffle: Shaved parmesan, truffle oil infused garlic mayo and spring onions. Korean style: Gochujang mayo with Korean BBQ sauce, sesame seeds and spring onions.

Slow-braised beef cheeks cooked low and slow in smoky chipotle, fresh orange, and zesty lime until meltingly tender. Hand-pulled and served with warm corn tortillas, creamy guacamole, house-pickled pink onions, charred corn salsa, fresh coriander, and lime wedges. Rich, smoky, citrusy, and fall-apart tender - built for rolling, loading, and getting deliciously messy.

Spiced lamb kofta served on fluffy couscous with a fresh pomegranate & mint salad, toasted flatbread, cooling tzatziki, and roasted lemons for a citrus hit. Bold, fresh, and perfectly balanced.

Dark, rich and deeply flavoured black dhal slow-cooked for over 12 hours with love and care, finished with silky coconut cream and roasted butternut squash. Served with warm sourdough flatbread for scooping every last bite. Comforting, nourishing, and seriously satisfying.

Fragrant Thai green curry with creamy coconut milk, tender peppers, sweetcorn, crunchy water chestnuts, and bamboo shoots, gently spiced and full of aroma. Topped with crushed peanuts and chilli. Served with fluffy rice for the perfect contrast of crunch and comfort. Bright, aromatic, and deeply satisfying.

Chicken breast with ramen noodles in a rich, spicy chicken, miso & sesame broth. Finished with bean sprouts, sweetcorn, chilli oil, spring onion, pak choi, sesame seeds, peanut butter and a soft-boiled egg. Deeply savoury, warming, and packed with layers of flavour.

Our ultra-creamy three-cheese mac & cheese is loaded with pulled pork in a Korean BBQ sauce, crispy kimchi, fresh spring onions, and crunchy crispy onions. Crunchy, cheesy, sticky, and completely addictive.

Infused with Lion's Mane & Rhodiola to clear brain fog and help you find your "flow state."

Contains Cordyceps & Ginseng to support physical stamina for a natural, jitter-free energy boost.

A powerhouse blend of Lion's Mane, Cordyceps & Chaga for total mind and body support.

Blended with Ashwagandha & L-Theanine to lower cortisol and promote grounded focus.

Ceremonial-grade green tea rich in L-Theanine for steady energy without the crash.

A "Golden Milk" blend; a potent anti-inflammatory for recovery and gut health.

High in nitrates to support blood flow and natural vitality.

Warming spices (cinnamon, cardamom, star anise) to aid digestion.

Bold, smooth, and served over crystal-clear ice.

High-grade coffee infused with medicinal mushrooms and adaptogens. Choose from Flow, Mojo, Mush Love or Zen. See the coffee section for information.

Vibrant, ceremonial-grade green tea whisked to perfection. Flavours: Vanilla, Pistachio, White Choc Hazelnut, Cookie Butter, or Banoffee.

Sparkling botanicals made in-house by our very own Annie

Sparkling botanicals made in-house by our very own Annie

Sparkling botanicals made in-house by our very own Annie

Sparkling botanicals made in-house by our very own Annie

Choose from the following. All served in a mug as they should be! English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Chamomile, Peppermint, Lemongrass, Red Berry or Green

Melted Belgian milk or dark chocolate.

Lemony lemonade, Summer Orangeade, Razza Rasp Lemonade

Orange, Apple, Cranberry & Grapefruit

A sharp, zesty burst of bright cranberry and citrus with a hint of vanilla. Infused with "Livener" botanicals to energise and stimulate the mind and get the party started.

A lush, fruity profile of sun-ripened peaches topped with crisp bubbles. Crafted with "Nightcap" spirits to help you unwind and melt away the day.

A refreshing, alcohol-free twist on a British classic that blends the bittersweet, mood-boosting "Social" elixir with chilled hibiscus tea and a zesty ginger ale finish.

A savoury, bold classic with a spicy kick of Tabasco and rich tomato. Uses "Social" botanicals designed to naturally lift your mood and boost sociability.

A sophisticated, citrus-forward blend balanced with the soft sweetness of maple. Formulated to mimic the brain's natural relaxation response for deep calm, it uses GABA-heavy spirits to naturally quiet a busy mind.

A deep, indulgent mix of dark cherry and classic cola spice. A mood-balancing elixir that offers a relaxed, grounded feeling designed to help you feel centred and mellow.

An exotic, tropical explosion of mango and lemon with a subtle, warming "hot honey" finish. A revitalising mix to refresh your palate and your mood.

Powered by Lion's Mane to spark creativity.

Features Cordyceps to support natural energy production.

Blended with Reishi to encourage a state of Zen.

Contains Cordyceps and Theanine to provide a natural "high" and sharp focus without the comedown.

A stimulating blend of Maca and Schisandra designed to awaken the senses and boost libido.

Infused with Ashwagandha and Magnesium to combat the physical symptoms of stress and promote muscle relaxation.

Packed with Chaga and Turmeric to support your immune system and fight off oxidative stress.

Calming sparkling waters infused with high-quality hemp extract.

Calming sparkling waters infused with high-quality hemp extract.

Brewed in a carbon-neutral craft brewery, these kombuchas are packed with a quarter of a billion living cultures (Bacillus Coagulans).

Brewed in a carbon-neutral craft brewery, these kombuchas are packed with a quarter of a billion living cultures (Bacillus Coagulans).

Brewed in a carbon-neutral craft brewery, these kombuchas are packed with a quarter of a billion living cultures (Bacillus Coagulans).

Crafted by 3-time world champion Jonny Wilkinson, these kombuchas are designed to improve your mental and physical wellbeing.

Crafted by 3-time world champion Jonny Wilkinson, these kombuchas are designed to improve your mental and physical wellbeing.

A craft-brewed beer infused with a signature blend of adaptogens and nootropics. It delivers the full-bodied satisfaction of a classic beer while actively helping you unwind.

The world's first "GABA-spirit" cider. It targets the GABA receptors in the brain to give you that social "glow" and relaxation without the toxins.

Alcohol Free, Never Sober. A crisp alc-free range of beers brewed for the responsibly irresponsible, with magnificent flavours and powerful botanicals for a proven, real beer buzz. Let's get "Tipsy AF"!

A hoppy, delicious alcohol-free lager with a piney aroma and bitter finish.

A crisp and refreshing blend with notes of citrus and green apple. Virtue: Clean, elegant social sipping that keeps your mind sharp.

A sophisticated, structured red with balanced tannins and hints of dark red berries. Virtue: Promotes deep relaxation and a sense of groundedness.

Pale, dry, and bursting with summer fruit notes. Virtue: The perfect "guilt-free" refresher for social lifting.

Crisp, roasted cauliflower bites tossed in a spicy tomato relish and fiery jalapeños.

Toasted focaccia served with a rich balsamic oil and vinegar reduction.

A premium blend of black and green olives, marinated with a kick of smoky paprika and chilli.

Parmesan and truffle Shaved parmesan, truffle oil-infused garlic mayo and spring onions. or Korean style Gochujang mayo with Korean BBQ sauce, sesame seeds and spring onions.